


Just One Day

by Lilac Winters21 (Lilac_Winters21)



Series: Just One Day [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-16 05:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilac_Winters21/pseuds/Lilac%20Winters21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin never seems to get a even a single day to just be happy. But what if he did?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling For Her

Merlin had fallen in love before. Just never like this.

He had fallen for countless pretty girls, and each time it was the same; he was hopelessly in love with them as soon as he saw them, his feelings intense and painful-and then the emotions would quickly vanish.

Only not with Freya.

The first time he saw her, she was covered in dirt and filth, wearing a dress that wasn't much more than rags, but that wasn't what Merlin saw when he looked at her.

He saw her eyes. They were filled with fear and despair, as though she'd forgotten how to hope. As though she hadn't experienced love or kindness in so long, she'd forgotten what they were. His heart immediately went out to her; in the way of sympathy, not love, at first. In that instance, he knew he had to help her. It could have been him, lost and alone, his journey ending in a cage. It would have been him, had it not been for the love and kindness of others: his mother, Gaius, Will, and all those who had helped him and kept his secret. And so, while Gaius slept that night, he snuck out and freed the girl, taking her down to the tunnels underneath the city where he knew no one would look for her. Merlin's heart ached for the girl when he saw her fear and mistrust of the simple kindness he offered her. She must have been lonely for so long. How could she have survived, trusting no one, loving no one? It was a question he would never know the answer to.

He fell in love with her quickly, though not instantly. She was the one person he could truly be himself around; and not just that, but he could help her, make her happy by being who he truly was. And she understood, she understood all too well what it was to be different, to be separate from those around oneself. She understood in a way no one else ever had.

When they first kissed, it felt pure and sweet and beautiful: a moment of bliss, of separation from their tangled lives. And though the moment tried to last into eternity, it eventually had to end. Merlin had to leave the beautiful girl and return to his life in the castle above. But from that moment, something changed inside of him. His destiny, something that had seemed so important, so vitally important, now felt insignificant and distant. He had a new purpose to his life now, and her name was Freya.

And so, he made plans to run away with her. And he was the happiest he'd been in a long time, dreaming of a life with no more secrets, no more lies. A life spent with someone he loved more than any other. A life where he was his own person, not the servant and shadow of another.

He knew what he what he was giving up. He knew he was leaving behind the friendship of many here: Arthur, Gwen, even Morgana. And Gaius. Gaius, who was like a father to him, was the hardest to leave behind. But it was worth it.

It was worth it because of the look in Freya's eyes when she saw him. The look in her eyes when she saw that she was loved, for the first time in he didn't know how long. She needed him, he knew, more than anyone did here in Camelot. And he needed her: he didn't need to hide who he was around her. He could just be himself and be understood. No one had ever given him that opportunity before.

So he planned. But his plans were ruined when she left first.

At first, he had hoped that she was long gone and safe. But when the warning bells began to ring, he knew that was only wishful thinking.

As the ensuing battle continued, there was only one thought in his mind: don't let them hurt Freya. He sent a gargoyle tumbling down on Arthur, taking the chance that the prince would be hurt in the crash. But in that moment, it didn't matter. For the first and only time since he arrived at Camelot, he was unconcerned with Arthur's safety, and wholly absorbed in worry for another.

He found Freya back in the caves, human again. He murmured reassurances to her as she told him how she had become what she was. He looked over her wound, frantically trying to assess the damage and figure out how to heal her.

"I'm going to make you better, Freya," he said desperately, trying to reassure himself as much as he was reassuring her.

"No, Merlin, the wounds are too deep. Please go". As Freya spoke, her breaths became shallower, and her voice died down to a whisper.

"No," Merlin said, heartbreak evident in his voice as he watched Freya succumb to the wound. More and more time passed between each breath she took, until her breathing almost ceased altogether. Her eyes slowly closed, and only the smallest thread of air was making its way into her lungs.

"No," Merlin said again, despair in his voice, and in that instant he knew that he could not let Freya die. Drawing strength from the part of himself where the fire of his magic always lay, he moved his hand over Freya and spoke in the strange tongue of the Old Religion. His voice was soft, but the words seemed to echo against the very walls from the intensity at which he had spoken them. His eyes burned gold as he chanted, a fiery light in them.

For an instant that stretched into an eternity, nothing happened. Tears began to form in Merlin's eyes as he thought that he had lost the only girl he'd ever loved. Then Freya took a long, shuddering breath, and Merlin did weep; but now, it was from relief.


	2. Running

For what felt like ages he simply lay there next to Freya. He was weak from the effort of casting the powerful spell and could barely move, but he couldn't rest until he had laid his hand on top of hers. He needed the assurance that she was there, that she was all right, and it was only after that was he able to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. He awoke at dawn, though he had no way of knowing it in the dark caverns. He was disoriented for a moment, not knowing why he was sleeping on hard ground instead of his own bed, but then memory returned and he smiled. He opened his eyes, and saw Freya next to him, looking like a princess in Morgana's stolen dress. He must have made some noise-she turned around toward him, her face cast in shadows by the flickering candlelight. She smiled when she saw he was awake.

"You saved me," she said, as tears began to roll down her cheeks. Merlin immediately pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into him, weeping onto his shoulder,

"I almost killed your prince-I could have killed you!-and still, you saved my life".

"Freya, you couldn't help it! The Bastet-that isn't really you. And...Freya, I love you". Freya pushed apart from their embrace. She was no longer crying, but looking resolutely at him.

"Merlin, I love you too, but...we can't be together. You saw what I was last night-what I am..."

"And I don't care!" Merlin cut her off. "You can control it, like you did when you didn't hurt me last night. And even if you couldn't, I'm willing to take that risk".

"But I'm not! Merlin, if I ever hurt you, it would destroy me".

"I have my magic, I can protect myself-"

"The Druids couldn't even protect themselves from me!"

"I'm more powerful than the Druids".

"But you aren't infallible! Merlin, you've only seen the Bastet once, you can't understand what it's like". Tears had again sprung into Freya's eyes.

"It's always inside me, clawing to get out. Each night, I fight to contain it, to keep it inside. And each night, as midnight comes and it's at its strongest, I lose the fight, and it bursts out, full of bloodlust and violence. Merlin, it's been inside me since the moment I was cursed. I know it so, so, well, and-" she broke off suddenly, confusion spreading over her face.

"I-I can't sense it," she said, as if speaking her thoughts aloud. "I don't understand, it's like it isn't there. It's like it's gone, but it can't be gone..." Her head was tilted slightly to the side as she tried to understand what had happened.

It was Merlin who realized it first.

"The spell I used to heal you, it was supposed to heal your whole being. What if it healed you of your curse?". She looked up at him, not quite daring to believe.

"I'm...I'm free of it?"

"It's gone, Freya. It's gone forever". The smile on her face was a beautiful sight, a brilliant mixture of not-quite-belief and pure, sweet joy. She threw her arms around him and embraced him, not knowing what words would be enough for the incredible emotion she was feeling. She did, however, find two words in the end, whispered almost too quietly for Merlin to hear.

"Thank you".

They left within an hour. Merlin had already gotten them supplies the night before, and so it was only a matter of planning how and where they wanted to go. With everyone on high alert from the attack the night before, they decided that their best chance was to slip out of town as quietly as possible and try to buy horses from a village outside of Camelot. So Merlin went and gathered the supplies he had hidden the night before, and the two of them quietly left Camelot. Neither had anything with them other than a small pack with supplies. No matter how unprepared they were, however, it didn't matter; they were together, and that made them happier than either of them had been in a long time. The pure joy that had filled Freya since she discovered that she wasn't cursed made Merlin fall even deeper in love with her every time he looked at her. That she was so happy, and that he had been the one to make her bliss possible, made him feel like he was the luckiest man alive.

They had no reason to hurry, and they couldn't move very quickly without horses anyway, so the pair walked at a relaxed, easygoing pace. The path took them through the forest surrounding Camelot, and it was a beautiful journey; the morning sunlight trickled down through the thick branches of the trees, making every leaf and flower look simply magical. Once, Merlin paused for a moment to pluck a particularly lovely flower from a bush and present it to Freya. She smiled her shy, beautiful smile at him, and he thought his heart might melt. Her smile lit up his whole world, making it seem like nothing could ever go wrong again.

They walked, warmed by the sun and by each other. And, for the first time since they had met, they had the chance to simply talk and enjoy each other's presence.

They spoke of simple things. Merlin learned of Freya's childhood, of her favorite memories of the lake and the mountains that had been her home. She told him tales of mischievous friends, of a loving family, of beautiful mountain sunsets and misty dawns by the lake. She talked of happy memories that Merlin could tell she hadn't thought of in a long time. And when the smile began to fade from her lips, and Merlin knew that she was remembering the day she was cursed, he stepped in and began to tell his own stories. Some were from his own childhood, but many were from his days in Camelot. And so, Freya learned about a prince who could sometimes be a bit of a prat, of a sweet servant girl who was one of the most loyal friends he'd ever had, of a noble lady whose trust he had earned , and of a physician who worried over him more than his mother had. And as they exchanged pasts, as they opened themselves up to each other, the bond between them strengthened and thickened. They had fallen for each other in a moment, drawn together by their mutual separateness from the world. Now Merlin fell even harder for the whole person Freya was: the person he was just getting to know, but he already knew that he loved.

As they came to a clearing, the two decided to stop and rest for a moment, though their 'rest' quickly turned into an impromptu picnic as they realized that neither of them had eaten anything since the night before. Merlin rustled through the bags to get the food he had packed out, unconsciously falling back into his normal role as a servant. And so, a small, simple feast was set out on the grass in front of them.

"There's only one thing missing," Merlin said, and with a few muttered words on his part, and a bush sprouted up from the ground, bright green leaves giving birth to white flowers, which quickly transformed themselves into small, bright berries.

"You remembered!" Freya said, smiling as she plucked a strawberry off the plant.

"And," Merlin said, "I did better than just the right color this time". She laughed, and they settled down to enjoy their meal.

They talked and ate and just enjoyed each other's company. Though the food and surroundings were simple, Merlin enjoyed it more than any fancy meal he'd ever had on Camelot. The simplicity, in and of itself, was wonderful; it was a sweet tranquility between the two of them unlike anything that anything that either of them had ever experienced. The warm sun, the sweet berries, the cool grass, and the beautiful girl beside him all made Merlin feel like he was in some sort of dream he never wanted to wake up from. It wasn't a dream, however, and the knowledge that it was reality made his heart sing.

Reality seemed to shatter, however, when a rider burst out of the woods. Startled, a spell flew from Merlin before he fully registered what was going on.

"Swefe nu!" And as Merlin's eyes flashed gold, Prince Arthur tumbled, unconscious, onto the ground.


	3. Misconceptions

Arthur was worried.

Merlin seemed to have mysteriously vanished. The boy had been in the courtyard when he and the knights had attacked the magical creature, but he'd run off-it had looked like he was in pursuit of the creature-and no one had seen him since. When he hadn't shown up with Arthur's breakfast in the morning, the prince had gone to Gaius, demanding to know where his manservant was and why he wasn't doing his job. When Gaius had said-sounding worried-that the last he'd seen of Merlin was yesterday afternoon, Arthur knew that something was wrong. Gaius always seemed to know where Merlin was, so if he didn't, where was Merlin?

Come to think of it, Merlin had been acting rather strangely the past few days. Stealing food off his plate-Arthur had always suspected that Merlin helped himself to his leftovers, but Merlin had never quite been this bold-vanishing for short periods of time (carrying a dress off with him at one point), and then being ridiculously happy for no reason yesterday. He'd been annoyed at Merlin for it; he'd had a difficult few days with the search for the druid girl, and that idiot had had the nerve to be cheerfully whistlingwhile he cleaned Arthur's chambers. Now that he thought about it, Merlin's odd behavior had been especially irritating all week because it had started the day after the druid girl had gone missing, when Arthur had already have enough to deal with...

Arthur stopped walking for a moment, startled by where his line of thinking had gone. No, there absolutely no way that the two things could be connected. Merlin would never have helped the druid girl-she was a monster who had brutally murdered several people. Merlin, who hated to see even animals killed on a hunt, would never be able to stand for that. No, Merlin couldn't be the one the bounty hunter had seen run off with the girl. It simply wasn't something he would do.  
Unless he didn't have a choice in the matter. The girl had magic, she could have easily enslaved Merlin, forced him to free her, bring her food, help her escape.

Arthur shook his head and began walking again. It was a stretch; just a wild jump of his imagination. That couldn't be what had really happened.

But...he still had no answer to where Merlin was.

His thoughts were interrupted by the approach of Sir Leon.

"Sire, we've been asking around in the lower town to see if anyone's seen the druid girl. Two women told us they saw someone who looked like the girl we described leaving town this morning".

"That could be her. I'll send someone to investigate. Did you get any other information from the women?"

"They said that there was a dark-haired boy with her, and that they seemed to be uncomfortable with any attention they were getting-Sire, are you all right?" At the words 'dark-haired boy' Arthur had visibly stiffened.

"Y-yes, I'm fine Leon," he managed to stutter. "I was just thinking that perhaps I'll investigate this myself. It seems like a fairly likely lead on the whereabouts of the girl".

As Arthur crisply strode away, his mind was racing. There are plenty of dark haired boys in the town, he told himself. It didn't mean it was Merlin. But as much as he tried to convince himself otherwise, some instinct told him it was.

(0)

Freya and Merlin both stared at the sleeping figure of Arthur. Merlin wasn't quite sure what to do. He'd just broken his number one rule since he'd become Arthur's servant: don't let Arthur see your magic. Though perhaps this didn't truly count as breaking the rule; this particular spell left the victim with no memories of the moment it was cast, so Arthur wouldn't remember seeing him cast a spell. Even so, it marked a change in Merlin's reactions. Fearing Freya had been in danger when he heard the horse approach, he had acted on instinct, revealing his magic without thought for any possible consequences. It showed just how much the druid girl meant to him-even when Ealdor, with his mother and Will, had been under attack, he'd still had to think before he'd revealed his magic. But now, his main instinct was to protect Freya-no matter what the cost was to himself.

He realized they both were still just standing there, and he brought himself back to reality. What should they do now? There was no way of knowing why Arthur was there-had he been searching for them? And if so, who had he been searching for: his missing manservant, or the runaway druid girl? Or had he simply decided on going on a hunting trip that morning? Whatever it was, it didn't really matter now; Arthur had seen the two of them, and they needed to get away, far away, before he woke up. The spell would last for a while, but not long enough. After Arthur woke up, he would be able to catch up with them fairly easily: he was on horseback, and they were on foot. Unless...

Merlin grinned at the idea that had just occurred to him. Arthur would probably have killed him for even thinking of it, but that was no longer any of Merlin's concern.

"We're going to...borrow...his horse," he told Freya. She looked surprised, and a little nervous, but seeing the mischievous grin that had broken out on Merlin's face she managed a small smile.

Merlin, with the assistance of a little magic, moved Arthur away from the horse to the side of the clearing. He helped Freya onto the horse, and then mounted himself. Freya, sitting behind him, tentatively put her arms around him to hold on. As he kicked the horse into a lope, the extremely close proximity to her made his focus on reality a little fuzzy, but after almost running the horse into a tree he started paying more attention to where he was steering the horse.

Merlin could tell that Freya wasn't a gifted rider-she probably hadn't spent much time on horseback-but if that meant she had to hold on to him to stay on the horse, he certainly didn't mind. When she leaned into him, he thought his heart just might beat its way right out of his chest.

They rode on until noon. Knowing Freya was an inexperienced rider, Merlin wanted to give her a rest, knowing that she wouldn't be able to ride all day as he could. He would have stopped sooner, but he knew they did need to get some distance between the two of them and Arthur.

As he helped Freya dismount, she smiled gratefully at him. They sat together on a fallen tree just off the path. Freya, tired from the several hours of riding-the several weeks of starvation under Halig's care had robbed her of any stamina she had-rested her head on Merlin's shoulder. And as they sat there, together, drawing strength from each other's presence, Merlin reflected that he was the luckiest man in the world.

Unbeknownst to either of the two, far behind them Arthur was beginning to stir. His first thought was of confusion-why was he lying on the ground? Then memory began to return, though his head was a bit foggy. He'd been going after the druid girl. He hadn't been riding for long when he'd found her-and Merlin-in the clearing. He'd seen them, and then...everything went black. He pushed himself up quickly. The girl must have cast a spell on him to knock him out. He looked around, trying to locate his horse. He had to get after them. The witch had Merlin, and Arthur knew he couldn't leave the manservant in her control. When he saw the hoof prints leaving out of the clearing, he realized that they'd taken his horse. Curse it! He glanced up at the sky, calculating how long he'd been knocked out for. Only a few hours, he decided. He looked at the tracks ahead of him, and then looked back at the path to the castle. He couldn't catch up with them on foot, but if he went back to the castle and got another horse, he should be able to overtake them; they were probably riding double on his horse, meaning he, a single rider, would be able to go faster than them. Standing up and dusting himself off, he started walking briskly back to the castle. The sooner he got there, the sooner he could be off after Merlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, in the episode 'Sweet Dreams' did anyone else wonder why Vivian didn't remember Merlin casting the spell 'swefe nu' on her? That's always really bothered me, so I put in my own answer to that in here. So if you were wondering where the line of reasoning for Arthur not remembering Merlin enchanting him came from, that's where.


	4. Magic

Eventually, Merlin and Freya had to get up and ride on. Now that they'd put some distance between them and Arthur, Merlin kept the horse going at a much slower pace-one he thought would be easier for Freya. He still relished the feeling of her arms around his waist, her body pressed up against his back. There were moments that he honestly couldn't believe it was real-she was real. That it wasn't just a dream that would fade as he woke. But he knew that it wasn't a dream; it was beautiful, wonderful reality.

It started to rain as they rode; a gentle rain that tingled against their skin. Merlin hadn't thought to bring cloaks-his mind hadn't really been on the task when he was packing-but it was no hardship; the rain felt cool and fresh in the warm summer air.

Eventually, however, the rain began to fall harder, and Merlin began to look for somewhere where they could find shelter. They weren't anywhere near a town, and so when they rode past a cave, Merlin decided it might be a good place to take shelter. After using his magic to make sure the cave was uninhabited, he and Freya entered, both soaking wet. They left the horse tethered near the cave entrance, while they ventured further inside. It was pitch black inside, but before Merlin could create a light, Freya cupped her hands and muttered something too quietly for Merlin to understand. A globe of pure, gentle, white light slowly grew in her cupped palms. It was an incredible; a web of delicate glowing threads tangled up in a sphere shape. It was light that somehow radiated not only brightness, but an indescribable sense of peace and well being. The sphere left her hands after a moment, and began to float in the air, just above their heads.

It was the first time Merlin had ever seen Freya deliberately use her own magic.

"Beautiful". The word slid from his lips, and he wasn't sure if he was talking about the light or the girl.

A hesitant smile tugged at Freya's lips as she looked at both the light and Merlin.

"I've feared my magic for so long; ever since I was cursed, I've been terrified using it would turn me into a monster. But now...you've shown me that I don't have to fear it". A look of peacefulness was radiant on her face. Merlin turned to her and kissed her forehead.

"You never need to fear your magic-or anything else-ever again". She looked up at him, her eyes holding only trust.

The tender moment between them was spoiled, however, when a sudden roll of thunder from outside made them both jump. Then, realizing it was only thunder, they smiled at their own surprise and continued deeper into the cave, the light floating on ahead of them, looking for a good place to sit and wait out the storm.

They finally did find somewhere relatively dry where they could sit. Freya's light had followed them all along the way, and when they sat down, she called it back to her with a beckon of her hand. A whisper from her, and the threads that made up the ball shattered into a thousand pieces; tiny stars that flew around the cave like fireflies. Merlin could only stare at the glorious display. Then, wanting to contribute his own magic to Freya's efforts, he muttered a spell of his own, adding glowing dots of color to Freya's pure white lights. Merlin's arm was around Freya's shoulders, drawing her nearer to him, as they watched the display above them. Then, just as the lights were beginning to fade, a wave of Merlin's hand drew the dying sparks together into their own form; a magnificent phoenix that glided through the cave. Freya laughed, and with a gesture from her the sparks took on a new form; a delicate winged unicorn that soared above their heads. This went on between them for quite some time, the two going back and forth creating magical displays. Freya, not having used magic in quite some time, was a little rusty at first-the results of a few of her spells made them both collapse to the ground laughing. She quickly regained her old skill, however.

It was an experience unlike any Merlin had ever had before. He'd never been able to use his magic like this: for no other reason than innocent pleasure, without fear of discovery or of scolding. Never before had this not been dangerous. And especially, there had never been anyone to share the experience with. Oh, he'd done magic for fun in front of Will when they were children, but it hadn't been the same; Will could never have really understood, or ever responded with spells of his own. This time with Freya-it was an echo of all his dreams, dreams where magic was allowed and he was free to be himself. Only this was better than any dream he'd ever had, because she was there with him.

The pitter-patter of rain continued all throughout the afternoon and into the evening. Eventually, their game had to draw to an end, and Merlin got out some more of the rations he'd brought for them to share. He set out a meal for them; like their picnic earlier, the food was simple, but neither of them cared. As they ate night began to fall, and a chill began to settle in the walls of the cave, so together they created a small, enchanted fire that burned on top of the stone floor and sent heat coursing through the whole cavern. It was warm and pleasant, making the cave seem almost cozy. After they finished their dinner, they reclined against the cave wall, lying next to each other. Eventually, they yielded to the drowsiness brought on by full stomachs and the warm fire, and they both fell asleep, Freya's head on Merlin's shoulder, and Merlin's head resting on hers.

Merlin awoke suddenly a few hours later, feeling like something was missing. Before he was even fully awake, he realized that Freya was no longer beside him. Forcing himself not to immediately panic, he stood up and walked to the opening of the cave.

"Freya?" He called out gently. When he stepped out of the cave he saw her standing a few feet away from the entrance, looking up at the moon.

"It's a few minutes to midnight," She said as she turned toward him. Merlin looked at her.

"The curse is broken, Freya," he said tenderly. "You don't have to be afraid". She looked at him, fear still in her eyes. Merlin crossed the distance between them in a few paces and pulled her into an embrace, holding her close.

"You don't have to be afraid," he repeated softly. A few minutes passed as he held her protectively, keeping her safe from all her fears.

"It's midnight," she said with an instinctive certainty, hope and joy shining across her face. Merlin bent his head down, and they kissed, slowly and sweetly. The moment seemed to last forever, as though time had stopped for one perfect instant. Nothing else in the world seemed like it mattered-nothing until Freya pulled away abruptly, falling to her knees as her face twisted in pain.

"Freya, what's wrong?" Merlin asked urgently, concern bleeding into his voice as he crouched beside her. She seemed to barely realize he was still there.

"No, I can't change now...the curse is broken. Please, don't make me change now!" Her voice was high and panicky, and she seemed to be talking more to herself than to Merlin. A thousand thoughts ran through Merlin's mind. Was the curse not broken after all?

"Get back, Merlin, please. I don't want to hurt you. Ahhh-". Her voice broke off as a wave of pain coursed through her. Merlin didn't move, but he tensed in preparation for the transformation that he thought was about to come. Both remained there, frozen, for a few moments, but nothing happened. Freya was still there as she was before: kneeling on the ground, her face in her hands. Slowly, she looked up.

"I'm...I'm still human? I don't understand..." She closed her eyes momentarily against the sharp pain that was again rolling through her. She began to cough, hard, and she brought her hand up to cover her mouth. When she pulled it away, it was spotted with blood. Merlin had spent enough time helping Gaius to know that when someone began to cough up blood, something was very, very wrong.

"Freya, what's going on? Are you all right?" He wanted to bite back the second question as soon as it had left his mouth-of course she wasn't all right-but he didn't know what else to say; he didn't understand why she suddenly was hurt like this. "If it isn't your curse forcing you to transform, what is it?"

"The curse...no, it couldn't be," She said, almost to herself. The confusion etched in her countenance was slowly fading into understanding, and deep sorrow.

"When the witch cursed me, she told me that I was doomed to kill until I died," she said haltingly, still clearly in great pain. "Your healing must have pushed it back, but there's only one way that the curse could be broken: with my death".

"I don't understand," Merlin said, though deep down he did, and he was terrified by the truth.

"The curse was supposed to last until death; my body tried to transform, but couldn't, and because of that..." her voice trailed off, but it was all too clear what she meant.

"No...I healed you once, I can heal you again," Merlin said frantically, reaching out his hand toward her. She stopped it weakly with her own. "Don't. The curse has a claim on my life, and there's no healing spell that can reverse that". Her breath had become ragged, and he had to bend closer to her to be able to hear her fading voice.

"Thank you for today; it's been one of the happiest days of my life. Thank you, Merlin, for making me feel loved again". Tears were streaming down Merlin's face as he wept over the girl he loved.

"Freya..." he sobbed. She was gasping for air now.

"One day, Merlin, I will repay you. I promise". She managed to say.

"I don't want you to go," Merlin whispered, his voice choked with tears. As her eyes slowly closed, he pulled her into his arms and desperately muttered spells, trying against hope to heal her. His eyes flashed again and again, but it was of no use as he watched the life slowly fade from her body.

"Stay with me, Freya. Please".

But she was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how much do you guys hate me right now?
> 
> Sorry to those of you who were expecting a happy ending. In my opinion, this is how the story of Merlin and Freya always ends; they may have cheated destiny for a day, but to quote Kilgharrah: "None of us can choose our destiny...and none of us can escape it". This isn't quite the end of this story in particular though; they'll be one more chapter after this.


	5. Loss

Merlin wasn't sure how long he wept over the lifeless body of the girl he loved. It felt like an eternity that he stayed there, holding her in his arms, as though if he didn't let her go, she'd still be there, alive, ready to wake up in a second. Time seemed to be meaningless in his grief. Absorbed in his sorrow, he didn't notice the man walking up behind him until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Startled, he quickly looked back to see who was beside him.

"Arthur?"

Arthur looked into the tear-stained face of his servant. When he had ridden up, he'd seen Merlin from behind, the druid girl's body in his arms. He'd been more than a little surprised and confused; had Merlin broken free of her spell and defeated her somehow? He'd gone up to the boy, intending to congratulate him on actually doing something right for once, provoking a playful banter between the two of them. That was how their relationship worked, after all. But when Merlin had turned toward him, and Arthur saw his face, all those plans vanished in an instant.

Merlin was heartbroken.

The expression on his face was one of pure pain and absolute devastation. It was a look he'd seen shadows of on his father's face, whenever he'd spoken of Arthur's mother. But in those cases, the pain had been dulled by time; here, it was fresh and unbearable. The idea that the girl had enchanted Merlin immediately left Arthur's mind. Instinctively, he knew that no enchantment could have produced this type of hurt, not this much heartbreak. These were things that only came with love: pure, genuine love. Arthur realized that he had been completely and utterly wrong; Merlin hadn't been enchanted by the girl. Somehow, impossibly, he had loved her, and they had left, voluntarily, so that they could be together. But then something had happened, and now she was dead. And so, Arthur offered the only words he had, the only thing he could give to his grieving friend.

"I'm sorry".

Merlin heard the sincerity in Arthur's voice, and on some level he appreciated it, but at the moment it didn't really seemed to matter.

"She's gone," he whispered. That was the only significant fact in the world, the only thing that truly seemed to be real. Arthur said nothing-there really was nothing for him to say-but he squeezed Merlin's shoulder, as if he could transport strength to the brokenhearted man.

After a while, Arthur took his hand off Merlin's shoulder. When Merlin didn't seem to notice, Arthur spoke to him, quietly, cautiously.

"Merlin, we can't stay here". Arthur hated to interrupt Merlin in his grief, but he needed to. "We need to get you back to the castle. If you're gone much longer, people might start asking questions about where you were". Arthur didn't register the fact that he himself was the person who would normally be the likeliest to note Merlin's absence. Merlin turned red rimmed eyes to Arthur.

"I can't just leave her here, Arthur". Normally, Merlin would wonder what Arthur was doing there, and worry about what he might have seen. In his grief, however, the thought never entered his mind.

Arthur couldn't argue with Merlin in this state.

"What do you want to do?" he asked.

There was a lake nearby, within walking distance of the cave. Merlin remembered how longingly Freya had spoken of her home on the shore of a lake, and he could think of no better place to honor her. It was a long, hard walk; Merlin carried Freya's body himself, refusing to let Arthur help. When they eventually got to the lake, he carefully laid her down by the shore. Then, he explained to Arthur what he wanted to do.

Silently, without a word between them, the two men constructed a rough boat. It was a slow, hard, task, especially in the dark, but they did it resolutely. After the crude frame was finished, they laid leaves down inside it to cover up the bareness. Colorful flowers were the next touch, and when, by silent agreement, the task was finished, Merlin tenderly laid Freya's body into the boat. He knew he could have done a much neater and faster job with magic, but there was something that felt right and satisfying about doing the hard work manually. Every gasp of breath, every drop of sweat was an offering to her, an apology for what had happened.

They set the boat into the water, and when Arthur turned away for a moment, Merlin muttered a spell and pushed the boat off. Normally, he would have never cast magic with Arthur so close, but he was beyond caring now. A tiny flame had sputtered into life on the framework of the boat, and it quickly spread. Arthur looked surprised when he turned around and saw a blazing fire where there had been none a few moments before, but he didn't comment. It was a time of silence between them.

They stood there for a time, watching the boat sail away. Finally, Merlin turned to Arthur.

"Let's go home".

The ride back was mostly a silent one. Someday, the two of them would discuss what had happened here. Someday, Merlin would tell Arthur how he had fallen in love with the druid girl, and the tale would make Arthur question everything he thought he knew about magic users. Someday, Merlin would open up to Arthur in a ways that he never had before. But all that was a long ways in the future; for now, it was not the time to ask questions. A glance at the look in Merlin's eyes made that very clear to Arthur. And so, there was only one thing that Arthur asked Merlin as the sun began to rise.

"What was her name?"

"Freya," Merlin said, the dawn light reflecting in his eyes. "Her name was Freya".

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.


End file.
